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Active Retirees : Active Retirees Feb-March 2013
SMILE Christmas cake capers Around the tree at Christmas time the word began to spread, That rum in Mother’s Christmas cake had gone straight to her head. Our Uncle Pete was acting strange but that’s not very odd, He’s always been a silly coot, a crazy mad old sod. It seems that Mum had tipped the rum a little bit too far, When in the mix with sudden flicks the lid slipped from the jar. She said ‘Oh struth! But what the hell, the cake it will improve, It’s too late now to turn about and make a backward move.’ We couldn’t see much difference in Mother’s sister Jane, She’d been committed years ago ’cause she was thought insane. But nowadays we’re more aware that she’s more often tanked, A little secret that we keep, her boozy brain quite blanked. For Christmas from the old men’s home came Mother’s father Bill, He’d lost his teeth ten years ago and couldn’t find them still. So Mother kindly gave her Dad some nice soft food to eat, At Christmas time he loved her cake – it was his favourite treat. With luscious hams and pork and pud, we ate the fine repast, But things fired up when cake was served, ’cause we had such a blast. Because he couldn’t eat much else we all watched Grandpa Bill, With huge uptake he gorged on cake, he couldn’t get his fill. Then suddenly he yelled real loud and caused a shocking scare, The curtains flapped, the dishes jumped, his shouts heard everywhere. He shrieked he’d found his long lost teeth right there in Mother’s cake, (He’d crunched his gums on pecan nuts – he’d made a bad mistake.) He jumped straight up and then he danced and twirled around like mad, ‘I’ve found my teeth!’ he screeched and screamed, ‘to chew at last I’m glad’. Then Jane joined in and kicked her heels above her head too high, She jigged and jived ’til knickers fell down at her feet awry. Our Mother tried to keep her still but Jane she knew the score, She grabbed ahold of Grandpa Bill, said ‘dance with me, senor’. Active RetireesTM | 65 She whizzed him round to bongo drums and rhythm of guitars, And gasped that they’d be seen quite soon on Dancing with the Stars. The hornpipe then the jitterbug their legs they never stopped, Their sweating brows and faces just kept streaming while they bopped. The floorboards rocked, the table swayed, the plates were dancing too, Soon Mum joined in, she looked a dag with hair and clothes askew. They danced and pranced and sang and laughed they really had a ball, We never knew they’d do such things their antics didn’t stall. When Pete swung from the ceiling fan revolving in the roof, He yelled ‘I’m flying round the world, my plan is quite foolproof’. Our Grandpa Bill, elated still because he’d found his teeth, Announced his new-found chopper set to Mum he would bequeath. He’s sure she could make use of them as soon as he was done, ’Til now they’d had such little use, their life had just begun. So very soon they’re quite worn out including poor old Mum, And all because the Christmas cake was chockers full of rum. We all agreed that Christmas lunch the best we’d ever held, And in the making of the cake, our Mum had sure excelled. Bonnie Jean Tosswill, Asquith Mixed Probus Club, NSW ENJOY THE POETRY? Tweet about it using our Twitter handle: @ProbusSthPac W: twitter.com/ProbusSthPac Solutions – puzzles page 76 P A E M C B G A G J A U N T S E T U D E R O C K E T G T P A R A I C N MO N I T O R S B U R G L A R I E S D S U U C A M E O S R I M O V E R D R AW P E E A U S L E V I P R O T E S T S R E T R A C T I O N A I U R A A A N N E N A S V D I S C R E P A I R M A N P R I G L E N A S T O U N D I N G I M P O R T E D P S L A P D A S H S E C R E I G N S Y O L E O A S E C R O S SWO R D S U N S E T T L E I I A I A R O E S S C A T T Y T E L L S L O N D O N S E S S E E S T N 53986714 2 81235479 6 76412958 3 64193825 7 28374596 1 97561283 4 19748362 5 32659147 8 45827631 9 Poetry
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