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Active Retirees : Active Retirees Feb-March 2013
COVER STORY You don’t need to be lonely if you don’t want to be. Love can happen again at any age. Back on the horse It took two years for Chris Emery to venture seriously into dating again after his divorce in 2005. The collapse of his 29-year marriage had left the 60-year-old retiree nervous and wary and although he’d dabbled with online dating he found it ‘’very hit and miss’’. “You either don’t get enough of a profile, or the profile is exaggerated. I soon realised it wasn’t the answer for me, although I made a couple of good friends.” Chris joined Seniors Contacts in 2008, impressed by the agency’s effort to match like-minded people. “Your prospective dates are vetted to meet your requirements,” he says. You’re not going to end up having coffee with someone half your age and with whom you have nothing in common. I want someone who falls within my age group and with whom I can hold a conversation.” Chris developed two relationships through Seniors Contacts, both lasting about a year. Undaunted by the fact neither relationship became permanent, he’s back on the books to try again. “What am I looking for? I know I don’t want to be married again,” he says. “I would like a friendship, a companionship bordering on a relationship, a good best friend I guess.’’ 28 | www.probussouthpacific.org “I didn’t really expect anything to happen, but Adolfo and I have been married 16 months now and we’re very happy.” With Relationships Australia predicting that more people over 65 will soon be living on their own than ever before, loneliness will be a huge issue in the 21st century. “More people are divorced and more are remaining single,” Lyn said. “They turn to their careers, rather than relationships, to provide company and routine. However, once they retire and the job is gone, they feel a little lost.” Independent woman? A trend for people who want to maintain their independence while having a partner is living apart together – to make the same commitment as a couple sharing a bedroom, but maintain independence by living in their own homes. “It can work for parents who still have children at home, for couples who like to hang onto their assets and for people who love each other but just can’t live with each other!” Lyn says. Although Stan and Cherry were just 80m from each other, living apart was never an option. “I love her too much to live apart,” Stan says. “And her strong Christian faith meant we had to marry to live together.” Both faced opposition from their only sons, who were concerned their parents were ‘acting like teenagers’ and rushing into marriage. “Sometimes I do feel like a teenager,” says Stan. “It’s been a wonderful two and a half years, and the boys and their families have come around – they’re wonderfully supportive now.’’ Cherry is adamant there is no need for people to spend their later years alone. “You don’t need to be lonely if you don’t want to be,” she says. “I want to give people hope that love can happen again at any age.” •• SHARE YOUR STORY! Had a great date? Or a disaster? Tell us about it! W: facebook.com/ probussouthpacific Studio Commercial
Active Retirees Dec-Jan 2013
Active Retirees April-May 2013